i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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