did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Say something about gay babies.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You are a genius and a whore.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
