she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
