At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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