after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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