Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
