I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
