You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
