this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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