Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
