if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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