So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
