Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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