worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
