There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
