hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
