I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
