I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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