I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
