So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
