Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
