let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
