It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Sorry about my life...
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize