i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize