Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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