If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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