Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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