i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
