In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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