Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
