if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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