he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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