YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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