Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
