the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
birth control should be required to get into college
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
