If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
