I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize