Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
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