I think I died a long time ago.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I wish you could order shots online.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
