she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
