There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
it's great music for shaving your balls
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
