Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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