I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize