Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
nutella sex= disaster
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize