ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
