theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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