I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
