i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
someone owes me an orgasm
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
He better not be in your backpack
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
My dick has a subreddit
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
