thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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