Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
