That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
you will always have a special place in my vag
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
