I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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