in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
