new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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