Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
