Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
