Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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