The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
