Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
